Living with Image

Day 15 of the Blog a Day. Every felt like you had to live up to an expectation you didn't even know that people have? First off I would just like to say, that I have some truly great friends, and seeing and hanging out with people you have not seen in a long time really reminds you how cool you really are. See I ALWAYS think my friends are cool, and wish I could spend more time with them. So when I spend time with them and the love overflows back? Makes me feel special.

On to the topic at hand though. Went to two parties last night and ran into two instances of battling my personal identity. Since High School I have always been that guy that has some nickname or another, and for the most part I sometimes don't hear my own name (Jeff) when someone calls it from across the room. For the last 9 years I have been known as Farley. It was weird to get used to at first, but you start hearing it enough it sticks with you. To the point where you don't even flinch when you tell someone's parents that your name is Farley. The great part about a nickname though is that you can almost be someone else while being yourself. Sure Farley and Jeff are the same person, but Farley was more of who I was in the moment for many years, while Jeff was the guy I thought did not have much to offer the world. It's almost like when someone wears a mask or drinks to be social. I would literally become this gregarious, over the top, drinking, being lewd, loud, obnoxious, and fun "character" who would do ANYTHING. Like working a night club the night before Christmas and just tearing the place down with antics and fun, and then on Christmas being the youngest in the family and only boy. Like Superman and Clark Kent.

Well with me having less and less exposure in Radio the last few years I have been struggling with my personal identity. When I would work at a new job and meet someone new, was I Jeff or was I Farley? There the same person in my mind, but how professional is it to be called Farley? You know what I mean? So the first party I was at last night was for my good friend Tiffany and there was a bunch of young kids there that I have never met. I went to introduce myself as Jeff to one cute girl and someone else walks up and says "Jeff? Your fucking Farley!" She replied "Oh my God. Your Farley? I've heard about you. (coyly) Hi." While that reaction is awesome, my reaction is "What the fuck have you heard?!" What do I have to live up to or live down? The second instance was at Noel's birthday at Dave & Busters. I was meeting a girls boyfriend that I have never met, and went to introduce myself as Jeff. If at first you don't succeed....Well the gal says "Jeff? Your Farley." To which my new best friend the boyfriend replies, "Oh shit?! Your the guy who was in that menage a three or whatever! Your a legend!" Menage a trois not with standing, I have to wonder if this guy was messing with me or is there really a story out there about me in a threesome. I mean there is a story out there like that, but not with this particular group of friends. Basically my point is that as I am transitioning my life from Radio into whatever it is I may be doing next in my life, I find myself constantly battling the perceptions of who I am and who I want to be. As to the menage a trois story? What happens in Vegas when I am close to blacked out drunk, stays in Vegas.

Comic Con and Thank You!

Tomorrow kicks off Comic-Con in San Diego. I cannot wait. I think I am going on Friday. Which should be fun. Friday and Saturday are always monster days as far as panels go, and I just heard there is an Adult Swim party at 4th and B Friday night. I may just go if only to meet the creators of the Venture Bros.

Back on the job front I got GREAT news this morning. An old friend of mine called me out of nowhere to tell me about a job opening that she thinks I would be great for. I was so thrilled I could shot milk out of my nose. Of course I have not had milk in over two weeks so that would be impossible. But the sheer thought of someone else thinking of me just made me feel like a good person. So I sent my resume over and am following up with a phone call as soon as I get the job's phone number. There is already a good word put in, and sometimes that is all you need in business and in life. So even if nothing comes of this, the fact that someone thought of me, called me, and said nice things about me for a great job has got me giddy and sitting on Cloud 9 of positivity today. Smiles. OH! And I am hosting Musicpalooza Singers (winners) at Anthology tonight. Should be a great show. :)

Idle Hands

So I am on the job hunt still, and things seem to be going okay. I actually am a whole lot more confident in myself then I have been the last 10 years. Working with people who support you and make you feel good about yourself will do that for you. Had another great job interview today and it appears the job is mine for the taking. The question is "Is this something I want to be doing?" and "Will I do well at it?" In fact my interviewer asked those exact questions, and honestly I don't really have a handle on the answers. The good news is that I have some other leads lined up and am taking some advice from my friend Brittany about how to submit for a job. Got some things lined up for tomorrow, a checklist if you will and having a list of things to do always helps me accomplish those things better.

Hosting the Musicpalooza Singers tomorrow night at Anthology SD, the winners from my big SD Fair contest will be performing. Can't wait. It's a chance to see these guys outside of being the contest coordinator and I can actually enjoy myself like a fan. Plus have a few beers and celebrate a satisfactory culmination of 7+ months hard work. Got a lead on some Comic-Con tickets for later this week, so I at least will be going one of the four days. And my roommate gave me a card for a Doctor that prescribes Medical Marijuana. Not sure if I am more thinking about it to get marijuana because I want it, or because I want to have something cool. I'm weird.

Ugh...Seriously

Today I finally am getting my act together and cleaning my room. I thought I had kept my room pretty clean up until a few months ago when I got busy with work and school, but it turns out I was mistaken. Not sadly mistaken, just mistaken. I found a shirt in my pile of laundry, clean and dirty, that I thought I had worn semi-recently but it turns out that I have not worn it since October 10 of last year. The reason I know this is that there was a ticket stub for America's Best Dance Crew at the Sports Arena in the shirt pocket. Oi.

So I find myself this morning, now afternoon, cleaning my room and watching Venture Bros Season 3 on DVD and listening to the directors/writers commentaries. Love this show. But a weekday cleaning my room and watching DVD's is completely counter productive to looking for a job and keeping my life afloat. But who wants to be productive? Oh and I am writing this to avoid doing homework now. Hey and Harry Potter is in theaters at midnight. I COULD stay up late and see it, or I could just sneak out to the first showing on Wednesday morning. :p

Been awhile

Okay so it has been more then a little while. Last time I blogged on here was May 22. That was well over a month ago. Here we are July 8th, and I am back. Spent the last month straight working at the San Diego County Fair and wrapping up another semester of school. You now find me about to start school again and looking for work. Such is life the last two years. I never seem to be in one place for more then 6 months at a time. That being said, I have decided that the Top 5 Blog is going to be changing a little bit. No big surprise there. The name is going to stay the same, but if I feel like blogging, but don't have a Top 5 in mind, this will be my home for that as well. Enjoy.